Baby Showers.
Let's just take a minute and think about the little joys that are brought into this world. Thank you god for the little bundles.
I have literally been to too many baby showers this year that I can't count them on my two hands. Oh my god! Can you imagine me seeing another onesie? And can you imagine how my "ooohhhhs" and "awwwws" have lost their emphasis? There are only so many matching outfits I can be amazed at.
My idea ---when I am knocked up---I will NOT have a baby shower. Period. Hahahah...actually there is no period, get it?
Guests to the "so called shower" will show up but leave their gifts outside on the doorstep. I don't want all the hens to have a henfest over a lady with a bun in the oven. I don't see the amazement. Sure, I will be exited to have a baby, but I don't want my guests to pass around a dirty diaper, smell it, and tell me what kind of candy bar it is. I also am not crazy about the idea of my guests, walking in the door, given a clothes pin (a gift -if you will) and have it taken away when they say "baby." IF I had to had to have a party I would like my guests to enjoy bleu cheese, smoked salmon, and bacon wrapped scallops while drinking a fine cabernet....and I would never open presents in front of anyone. THAT is just me.
I must also take a minute to recognize my fellow single gals who do not have children. Taking a note from Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, there should be an anknowledgement that we are single and don't have children. She went as far to say that we should send out announcements that we are registered at a Minolo Blahnik---yeah I spelled that right, because I just looked it up. Pregnant women get so much attention and I see Carrie's point. I would just appreciate equal attention given to those that are not pregnant. Hey look at me, I'm 28 and I'm not pregnant. Whooo hoooo!
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Congratulations on not being pregnant. That is so exciting. Ha Ha. I totally agree, especially since all my friends are having babies right now. Lord save us from pregnant women of the world.
ReplyDeleteSee, I'm fine with the concept of baby showers. Its one of those social contracts that benefits both parties - in theory - because it asks the guest to provide a baby related gift (and let's face it, babies are expensive) in exchange for food and, hopefully, alcohol. That part i can do.
ReplyDeleteBut the creepy and embarrassing baby-themed games I absolutely cannot do. I mean, let's face it: I'll have a hard enough time showing excitement - or oohing and ahhing - over my own child. And never, for any reason, will I coo over a dirty diaper. All this to say I believe your assessment is spot on and we as non-pregnant females should ban together in an effort to discourage the gross violation of what should be a simple social contract. When I get pregnant, feel free to throw me a shower -- because I want the gifts. But understand that if you ask me to play a game, I will force feed you one of the black balloons that you'd better use to decorate the cocktail table.
For the record: I HATE showers - of ALL kinds. Baby, wedding and even hot, wet ones. I, too vowed I'd never force my otherwise hip and happenin' friends/family to partake in the ridiculous tradition on my behalf. But you & I failed to consider one very critical factor: Riter & Martha Stewart. It would be absolutely sacreligious - we would be disowned from the family (AFTER the precious baby is born, of course) - if we even considered skipping the baby shower ritual... :)
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