kroger vs publix

Lately I've realized how much I cherish my local Publix. Pulling into the parking lot Easter evening, I was upset realizing that Publix was closed. Bugger. I had to drive my happy ass to Kroger. Or Krogers as it's sometimes called. I decided to compare the two.

Publix: You don't get "hollered at."
Kroger: You will get "hollered at." Recently, at Kroger I heard shouting, right when I walked through the door some man spending too much time examining apples asked, "Excuse me...can I holler at you?" This gentleman had to repeat his question over and over...because I was NOT comprehending. Suddenly he talked to me like I was hearing impaired, "Can - I - holler - at - you?" My response: "Ugh, gross, no you cannot holler at me." Although he just did. This behavior is unacceptable.

Publix: A man that works in the Publix produce section, whose name escapes me at the moment, smiles and says, "Hello! How are you today?" He's so welcoming and happy to be alive.
Kroger: There is no one to be found in the produce section.

Publix: The cashiers (and there are usually 5) are not busy. They are waiting on you. They are standing in the aisles waving you in to check out. How convenient.
Kroger: After weaving in out of 10 customers deep waiting to self check themselves out you will find yourself with a non engaging cashier who is 3 minutes away from her smoke break. There is no eye contact. Any eye contact made is uncomfortable and is considered an intrusion.


Publix: The store is bright and clean.
Kroger: Every Kroger I have been to in the past year has been "in a renovation stage." You have to dodge orange cones which may or not be related to the renovation. I have witnessed cones surrounded by....we will call them spills. Clean up is not first on the priority list of a Kroger employee.

Publix: The Publix guarantee. One time when we were having dinner at the future mother-in-law's house, the fiance went to Publix and came back with 4 pounds of shrimp. After looking at the receipt we discovered that shrimp "as an item purchased" was not on the receipt. Puzzled and confused...Jeremie's mother and I were sure that he stole it. Jeremie explained that the shrimp rang up incorrectly so Publix gave him the entire 4 pounds of shrimp for free!
Kroger: Have you ever heard of the Kroger guarantee?

Publix: No membership. The savings are noticeable. I'm referring to the buy one get one free. You fools know what I'm talking about.
Kroger: If you want to save money you have to sign up for a membership. Don't forget that Kroger plus card!! Cause if you do you will be paying double...that means that box of Cheezits will cost ya $3.50.

Publix: I can say that I've never had bad meat from Publix. Not to say that's it's never happened to anyone else.
Kroger: You will get bad ground turkey. One of the most wretched smells I have ever smelled is when Jer and I cooked ground turkey. If you have never smelled bad turkey...let's just say you will know it when you smell it.

Publix -----feel free to send me gift certificates. Thank you.

You know you are old when....

So recently I had a moment when I realized I am getting old. No...it wasn't when I was called ma'am at Publix. It was more subtle.

I saw my dad tonight and I thought....I bet he was cool at one time. Not that I don't think he is the coolest dad ever! I mean my parents have always been there for me in a super cool way. And I have heard my dad's West Georgia stories of how his best friend was growing pot in a windowsill. But he "never" smoked pot. Uh...right. I know he was cool.

Tonight I saw him in a different light. They (whoever they are) say that when you have kids, things are put into perspective. I don't have kids....I mean Jeremie has Sophie and I guess that's enough. I care about her so much, I'm starting to see how everything I say and do is molding this little girl (hopefully) into the perfect person.

Tonight as I watched my dad, I thought he has provided for his family and he has done a great job. I'm proud of my dad, does that EVER happen? The answer, my friends, is not enough. I'm always still amazed at the way he cares about me and asks me "How are you doing on your medication?" "Fine Pa..." I respond. It's nice to have someone remember that I have a chronic disease and ask in a noninvasive way, 'Are you okay?'

Listen, dry your eyes and focus:
Back to my topic....'You know you are old when...'
1. If you are at a red light and you don't take off and hit the gas when the light turns green. What's the point? And...what's your hurry????
2. If the kid you babysat is now married and pregnant with her 3rd child.
3. If your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
4. If you tell your loud college neighbors to keep it down. No drums past 10:00 p.m. please.
5. If you have ever used the phrase "Back in my day...."
6. If you hear "Cat's in the cradle" or "Time in a Bottle" and you tear up.
7. If you consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
8. If your favorite pastime is playing scrabble. On Facebook.
9. If you are sore when you wake up.
10. If you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
11. If you think your parents were cool at one time (past tense) and you have glimpses of them being cool "at times."
12. If you talk about "good grass" and you are referring to the neighbor's lawn.
13. If you answer a question with "Because I said so."
14. If people call you at 10:00p.m. and ask "I didn't wake you, did I?" see #4.
15. If you clip coupons.

So if you are old and you know it, clap your hands. Unless that hurts...then don't.