The day Sophie saved a lizard...and changed my life

So...this Saturday Jeremie and Sophie went fishing. Oh, we live in a new house these days and the lake is technically our backyard, we just use our neighbor's dock to fish. Apparently, this weekend they wanted to catch different things... Or at least bait different things. They decided to use baby frogs and one special blue tailed lizard. Sophie found this lizard under the cross ties around the fire pit (which is under construction). She saw that it was sitting on eggs. With some hesitation, she picked it up and put it the red Folger's coffee jug. Jeremie told me later when he hooked the belly of the lizard, Sophie lost it. She cried non stop, watching the lizard flail about in the water. "That lizard is a mama, we shouldn't have taken her, I regret this so much!" she cried. Jeremie told her that they had basically already killed her, "There's a hook in her stomach, if we take her out now, she won't live." Sophie couldn't take this news and begged for Jeremie to save the lizard. He agreed after she cried uncontrollably. Poor little Sophie had a plan, "If this lizard doesn't live, I'm going to warm the eggs every weekend when I'm here," she said. Sophie walked back to the original home of she the lizard, placed it on the eggs and walked back to the dock. Again, Jeremie told her "Don't be upset if that lizard doesn't live." THIS is when you grab your tissue, folks. Sophie thought for a seconds and said, "You know what, that lizard is going to make it...she is going to get through this traumatic experience... And she is going to live for her babies. THAT IS what Mumsy would do." By the way, she calls me Mumsy. They fished for two more hours. They checked on that lizard and she was alive... Guarding and warming her eggs. 
Last night, Jeremie cut the grass and that lizard is still alive...sitting on her eggs, putting that traumatic experience behind her and being a Mama. 
I can't tell this story without crying. Sophie has been such a blessing to my life and to hear the way she talks about me is incredible. I pray I'm as much as an inspiration to her as she is to me. That girl. She's amazing. 

Married...with socks.

I felt really smart recently. We all are aware of how the washer OR the dryer eats socks. Jeremie refers to the culprit as a gnome. I think he says this mostly to scare me. He knows how I feel about little people.
ANYways...so I have started to keep ALL the socks with no match in the bottom of the laundry basket. The husband noticed this and said, "Oh wow! Why didn't I think of that? Keeping the socks in the bottom....so that they will eventually be matched?!" Um....yeah. I just came up with that. On my own. Totally.
Honestly: I had kept the socks in a cute basket on top of the dryer...but realized that basket could be used for something else. I dumped the socks in the basket. Later, my plan was to throw those damn socks away, knowing they would NEVER be reunited with their mate. But husband didn't need to know this.
All you ladies out there....married or cohabiting, you're welcome. There will be more housewife tips to come. I'm just glad to know my time spent in high school as treasurer of Future Homemakers of America didn't go to waste.

Wake me up when...May ends

Just finished watching the second parter of Oprah's "Most Memorable Guests." James Frey was the guest. His book 'A Million Little Pieces' was/is one of my favorite books. I bought the book after it came out that he lied about half of it. I didn't care. I have never read a book that fast. I've even started to read it again. Out loud. To Jeremie. Romantic, right? Instead of reading poetry to my love, I read this guy's memoir of his drug addiction. In between James Frey's dreams of doing lines of cocaine and snorting glue, there is poetry in the middle of it all. Somehow.

Anyways....I thought it was awesome that Oprah apologized for the way she treated him on the show. He lied. He admitted it. But queen Oprah was going to make him feel more humiliated than he already did. I can't wait to see what her words do for that man's career.

So, May 25th is Oprah's last show. That got me thinking...who are we going to turn to? Who will tell us what to read, what to like, what to eat? And what to BUY!? Where will pregnant women go in hopes to go into labor without Oprah's Favorite Things show?? How will I know when it's that time of the month, because of the tears streaming down my face while watching a "I use to be fat makeover show" ? How will we live?

To be honest, I tivo Oprah everyday. And we will all miss her. But it was time for her to back out. It was like she saw me cringing every time she screamed out her guest's names...you know how she does. I got really annoyed with her eating habits. And how she hums while chewing. How many ways can you redo fried chicken? "Fried chicken!!! Fried chicken for everyone....You get fried chicken...and you and you!"...
Oh yeah, and the camping documentary because "I'm black and I've never been camping." And Gayle. Don't get me started on Gayle.

So goodbye Op. Thank God (I mean you - so easy to get you two confused) you started that other channel. I'll be watching.

You've been way-laid!

So...yeah. I'm newly married and 30 and have yet to start a career. Eh. I cringed when I typed that.

What the hell happened to my life? Oh....I remember. I went to college. It's somewhat hazy. And yes, by hazy I mean the drinking. The partying. The fact that there was always a place to drink every night of the week. BUT after all that, may I add I made the Dean's List EVERY semester. And the drinking got old after a while and I finally focused on my degree. During college, I can recall telling my parents how sick I felt. I was drinking a bottle of Kaopectate every two days. Every two days I would slurp down that chalky liquid so I could function at my radio internship - 7am everyday. No fault to my parents, but they told me I was drinking too much.

I never felt so sick and so alone. I would do the internship, interview cops, go to class until 2 or 3pm and literally pass out on the couch. I usually slept until 6pm only waking up to run to the bathroom. Then I was forced to write articles...finish homework...and study for exams. I kept thinking "college is hard!" When I got back home to my parents house I continued to complain of the same symptoms. I remember being curled up in the fetal position...in SO much pain. My mom finally suggested I go to the doctor. Ding! Diagnosis Crohn's Disease.

So, I say all of that as a record to myself that I haven't been this lazy person. I need reminding of that. After my diagnosis, I was sick. I mean so sick I nicknamed my stay of being stuck in the house for 7 months as "toilet arrest." TMI, but I was going to the bathroom 40 times a day. And the medicine! I was taking 30 pills a day. I could barely choke down 10 cheerios a day without running to the bathroom, because the action of chewing activated my digestive system.

Now....I'm better. I still have unexpected bad days and no wonder I don't have a "real" big girl job. I never thought I would be 30 and no job. No career.

Today I went to staffing agencies. It's humiliating and I'll tell you why. I don't think I'm better than anyone else because I have a college degree. But, this is how the conversation went:
Secretary: Do you have reliable transportation?
Me: Yes
Secretary: Can you pass a drug test.
Me: Um....yes.
Secretary: Do you have a high school diploma?
Me: Yeah...actually I have a college degre....er...yes I have a high school diploma. So can I leave you my resume?
Secretary: Oh!!! You have a resume?? I'm putting you down for an interview at 9am on Monday.

Really?

I see your true colors

I had no idea how stressful a wedding can be. I would love to say this is the best time of my life. But, it is not. When people tell me I should be enjoying this time, I look at them like they have two heads. I love plans. I always have. However, actually "making plans and decisions" is not my strong suit. I have realized how indecisive I am. What color linens? Purple. What type of linens? Um...pintuck. Purple linens on all the tables? Of course not? I finally told my caterer, "Look, you know what to do...do it." She told me I am the most laid back bride she has ever met. Maybe. Or maybe I am just at the "I don't care" point.

Jeremie asked me last week if I would have rather had a wedding or taken the money for the wedding. And imagine this....wait for it...I was undecided. I was never that little girl who wanted a huge wedding, which is my problem. I have no perfect idea in my head. I would be mad if I didn't have a wedding. But, is it really worth it?
What is the point of this blog? Stealing a line from a fellow outlaw, I like dogs more than people. Things you will never hear a person say to describe a dog.
1. Wow, I don't know how I feel about this dog after this wedding. His true colors are really showing.
2. That dog is so fake.
3. That dog's dress doesn't fit.
4. That dog is offended and feels left out because I don't want any help planning this wedding.
5. That dog didn't think about anyone but himself.
6. I've ignored that dog's friend request on Facebook....because clearly that dog is nosy and wants to see my wedding pictures.
7. I don't want that dog in my life.

Pay it forward

It's almost Christmas. It seems I always see or hear acts of kindness more at this time of year. And it is awesome. Recently, I was at church. While grabbing a bulletin, I couldn't help but notice this old woman crying, hysterically. She was holding a Christmas card. And she was wailing. I went up to her and asked if she was alright. I'm guessing she was around age 85. She was noticeably poor. When she finally answered me she screamed, "I didn't even know her that well!" Initially, I thought someone she "barely knew" had passed away. After I took a closer look at the card she was holding, I noticed a $100 bill taped to the inside. She told me the story, in between tears, that some lady in her Sunday school class gave her this card. She couldn't believe someone cared so much about her needs and gave so generously. I hugged her. As I hugged her, I was worried it would be awkward for both of us. But it proved to be the only thing "to do."

I was walking to meet Jeremie with tears in my eyes. That experience made me so thankful for the things in my life. I wanted to tell Jeremie immediately, but felt like I had to keep it to myself for just a moment to fully enjoy it.
It reminded me of another time. My first and only pay it forward moment.

Picture it.....Sicily 1923....oh.... I'm sorry I'm getting my stories confused. Picture it....Atlanta 2009....I'm boarding a flight to Vegas for my friend's bachelorette party. We are not only unable to sit together, we are unable to sit anywhere near each other. I'm searching for my seat. I find it. I am seated next to a man, maybe in his 50's. We chit chat. He is going to Vegas for work. He's an air traffic controller and they are having a conference there. His wife is in first class. (Big question mark over my head, too). We begin talking...in depth. About life. About love. He offers to buy me a drink when the stewardess comes by. I hesitantly accept.(My arm hurt from the twisting). His wife ventures back to us poor people in coach and she is lovely. It's his second marriage and he swears he finally got this one right. Our flight is coming to an end and he grabs his wallet. He pulls out two $100 bills. He begins writing on them. On the first, he writes, "for you." On the second, he writes, "for the world." He folds them up and gives them to me. He tells me to have fun in Vegas. He tells me to spend one of the bills ("for you") on myself. Strict instructions follow for the second hundred: "Give this to someone you think really needs it." I argue with him for a good ten minutes, telling him I can't accept this. He ignores me.

I remember getting off the plane, reuniting with my friends, and being speechless. I couldn't believe the kindness of a stranger. He told me he knew, from talking to me, that I would not spend the $200 on myself. He was right. I told my friends the story about 30 minutes later in the cab to our hotel. They couldn't believe it. After spending a day in Vegas, I decided I would save the 2nd $100. I didn't want to give it away to someone in that town that would just blow it on a hand of blackjack.

I'll never forget this day. Months later, I was at a craft store. Waiting in line, I noticed a couple behind me. The wife had obviously broken her leg. She was in a wheel chair with a stack of fabric on her lap. Soon, four kids came running up to her. It was apparent from the dialogue, that she was making clothes for her children. I counted the children again. Four kids and the husband was holding a child younger than a year old. I got tears in my eyes thinking of the moment I would give the $100 to them. When I left the store, I waited until I saw the family walk out. The man walked out first. He was going to get the car and drive it to the curb for his wife. I stopped him, told him my crazy 'pay it forward' story and made him accept the money. Tears filled his eyes. He told me that I would never know what this money meant to his family. And he hugged me. I sat in my car and watched him pick up his wife. He couldn't keep the news to himself and I could see that he had told her. It was amazing.

The day the egg went missing

So...this morning I treated myself to Dunkin Donuts. I ordered a medium coffee and ham + egg + cheese english muffin. I received my cup of goodness and the bag with the tasty breakfast inside. I got home and realized that the egg was missing. The bag was mysteriously light and I was kicking myself for not eating it upon arrival.

After a busy day of wedding business, I looked in my wallet and found the Dunkin receipt. I decided to give Amar a 'piece' of my mind because a 'piece' of my breakfast sandwich was missing. Fired up, I called the number on the receipt. After an awkward hello, I asked the gentleman on the other end if I had woken him up. I filled him in that protein was missing from my sandwich and his response was, "Is there a reason you waited this late to call me?" Um.....I don't know, sir, I have a life and calling to report an egg-snatching wasn't on the top of my list of things to do. Amar tells me that next time this happens to call immediately. Apparently I really put a damper on his evening because he has to go back and check security tapes to see what employee made the mistake. I didn't want him to mail an egg to my house but I was expected something....like....I don't know a free coffee. I asked what he planned on doing. He informed me that there was nothing he could do since I didn't call when it happened. I complimented him on his customer service skills and vowed to never go back to his store again. Man, did he mess with the wrong bridezilla.

Anyone reading this that loves Dunkin Donuts as much as I do.....this specific store was on Wade Green. You know what to do.