What an awesome onesie!

Baby Showers.
Let's just take a minute and think about the little joys that are brought into this world. Thank you god for the little bundles.

I have literally been to too many baby showers this year that I can't count them on my two hands. Oh my god! Can you imagine me seeing another onesie? And can you imagine how my "ooohhhhs" and "awwwws" have lost their emphasis? There are only so many matching outfits I can be amazed at.

My idea ---when I am knocked up---I will NOT have a baby shower. Period. Hahahah...actually there is no period, get it?
Guests to the "so called shower" will show up but leave their gifts outside on the doorstep. I don't want all the hens to have a henfest over a lady with a bun in the oven. I don't see the amazement. Sure, I will be exited to have a baby, but I don't want my guests to pass around a dirty diaper, smell it, and tell me what kind of candy bar it is. I also am not crazy about the idea of my guests, walking in the door, given a clothes pin (a gift -if you will) and have it taken away when they say "baby." IF I had to had to have a party I would like my guests to enjoy bleu cheese, smoked salmon, and bacon wrapped scallops while drinking a fine cabernet....and I would never open presents in front of anyone. THAT is just me.

I must also take a minute to recognize my fellow single gals who do not have children. Taking a note from Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, there should be an anknowledgement that we are single and don't have children. She went as far to say that we should send out announcements that we are registered at a Minolo Blahnik---yeah I spelled that right, because I just looked it up. Pregnant women get so much attention and I see Carrie's point. I would just appreciate equal attention given to those that are not pregnant. Hey look at me, I'm 28 and I'm not pregnant. Whooo hoooo!

Are you there Crohn's, It's me Imodium

Dear Crohn's,

Oh my word, where do I start? We've had some good times, Crohn's. Like that one time when I got really skinny. Everyone wanted to be me and they were dying to know my diet secret. Or that other time I wish I had bought stock in Kaopectate because I was drinking a bottle of it a week. Then there was the embarassing stomach gurgling in a quiet room. Don't forget the sprinting to the bathroom - Dumb & Dumber style. And who could forget the times when I didn't make it to the bathroom, bringing the title of this blog to life!

People are always surprised when I can tell them where every bathroom is...in every store or restaurant....anywhere. Thank you Crohn's. You make my knowledge a convenience to everyone I meet.

But let's face it...I think it's time we say adios. Although I know that's an impossible request, that is my dream. To let you go. But you are a chronic condition. So instead let's work out a deal. Let me eat brocolli. You know no one eats brocolli...it needs to be eaten and enjoyed. I love it. I love it too much apparently. The past two sleepless nights have led me to writing a letter to my disease. What??? If I can't get rid of you, can we at least work on your schedule. You are so random. Please send me your schedule listing when you might be in the area....? That would be great. That way I can put on a diaper.

Please think it over and get back to me.
Thanks.
Yours forever,
Stacy "mudbutt" Holt

He enjoys to smurf silver.

Um, quick question to my blue man: Why would you keep taking/drinking silver when you know the side effect? It turned him blue! This man took colloidal silver for a skin condition. Now just take a look at him.

Reminds me of when I give my ass a call (the prescription I am on for Crohn's disease, called "Asacol," it causes diarrhea and abdominal pain).

But seriously, is he still on the silver because he plans on being Papa Smurf for Halloween?! Great idea and done!!

love means never having to say you're sorry = WRONG!

With Kanye West's recent outburst on the VMA's, I was waiting on his apology. Not his apology to me, although I think he should apologize to all of America for existing. But the apology due to poor Taylor Swift and the word rape she had to endure from this assclown. She was trying to have a kodak moment. I think Kanye apologized on his blog. Whoopty freaking whoop. Last night on the Jay Leno show he "almost" teared up when Jay asked what his mama would have thought. He was silent. And he was awkward. When he finally responded he could barely put a sentence together. He might have been choked up but I really think he only speaks rap.

This is when I got to thinking about apologies. When did people forget how to apologize? It's basically two steps. 1. You realize that you mucked up. 2. You fix it, you accept responsibility and you promise it will not happen again.

For those out there that are confused, read steps 1 & 2 again. I know admitting you are wrong is a difficult thing to do. Yes I do know this. However, it makes you a better person. It's self improvement.

There are things that you don't do. One thing that sticks out in my mind, you shouldn't say, "I'm sorry I said that, but that's how I feel" or "I'm sorry I said that, but I meant it." What???
If you sincerely apologize there will not be a "but" in your apology.

The title of my blog...

Hello all!!!
So I started a blog. I have started a blog. I am a blogger. I love to write...er type.
So the title of my blog originates from an SNL skit, but for me, it became my mantra when a group of my friends decided to start a weekly newsletter called "The Woodstock Weekly." I need just a minute to reflect on that great publication.....okay I'm done. My column was "Oops I Crapped My Pants"....long story short of that, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 2004. For those who are not personally familiar with that disease, it means I accidentally crap my pants all the time due to inflammation of my intestine. Very serious chronic disease. Even more serious is how funny the jokes can be.
Back to the WW newsletter, its demise was a result of a couple of things. The hazy drunken nights led to memory lapses for content, plus the unpaid staff was unable to meet the deadlines. I miss it. Stay tuned, I'm very interesting! :)