Pay it forward

It's almost Christmas. It seems I always see or hear acts of kindness more at this time of year. And it is awesome. Recently, I was at church. While grabbing a bulletin, I couldn't help but notice this old woman crying, hysterically. She was holding a Christmas card. And she was wailing. I went up to her and asked if she was alright. I'm guessing she was around age 85. She was noticeably poor. When she finally answered me she screamed, "I didn't even know her that well!" Initially, I thought someone she "barely knew" had passed away. After I took a closer look at the card she was holding, I noticed a $100 bill taped to the inside. She told me the story, in between tears, that some lady in her Sunday school class gave her this card. She couldn't believe someone cared so much about her needs and gave so generously. I hugged her. As I hugged her, I was worried it would be awkward for both of us. But it proved to be the only thing "to do."

I was walking to meet Jeremie with tears in my eyes. That experience made me so thankful for the things in my life. I wanted to tell Jeremie immediately, but felt like I had to keep it to myself for just a moment to fully enjoy it.
It reminded me of another time. My first and only pay it forward moment.

Picture it.....Sicily 1923....oh.... I'm sorry I'm getting my stories confused. Picture it....Atlanta 2009....I'm boarding a flight to Vegas for my friend's bachelorette party. We are not only unable to sit together, we are unable to sit anywhere near each other. I'm searching for my seat. I find it. I am seated next to a man, maybe in his 50's. We chit chat. He is going to Vegas for work. He's an air traffic controller and they are having a conference there. His wife is in first class. (Big question mark over my head, too). We begin talking...in depth. About life. About love. He offers to buy me a drink when the stewardess comes by. I hesitantly accept.(My arm hurt from the twisting). His wife ventures back to us poor people in coach and she is lovely. It's his second marriage and he swears he finally got this one right. Our flight is coming to an end and he grabs his wallet. He pulls out two $100 bills. He begins writing on them. On the first, he writes, "for you." On the second, he writes, "for the world." He folds them up and gives them to me. He tells me to have fun in Vegas. He tells me to spend one of the bills ("for you") on myself. Strict instructions follow for the second hundred: "Give this to someone you think really needs it." I argue with him for a good ten minutes, telling him I can't accept this. He ignores me.

I remember getting off the plane, reuniting with my friends, and being speechless. I couldn't believe the kindness of a stranger. He told me he knew, from talking to me, that I would not spend the $200 on myself. He was right. I told my friends the story about 30 minutes later in the cab to our hotel. They couldn't believe it. After spending a day in Vegas, I decided I would save the 2nd $100. I didn't want to give it away to someone in that town that would just blow it on a hand of blackjack.

I'll never forget this day. Months later, I was at a craft store. Waiting in line, I noticed a couple behind me. The wife had obviously broken her leg. She was in a wheel chair with a stack of fabric on her lap. Soon, four kids came running up to her. It was apparent from the dialogue, that she was making clothes for her children. I counted the children again. Four kids and the husband was holding a child younger than a year old. I got tears in my eyes thinking of the moment I would give the $100 to them. When I left the store, I waited until I saw the family walk out. The man walked out first. He was going to get the car and drive it to the curb for his wife. I stopped him, told him my crazy 'pay it forward' story and made him accept the money. Tears filled his eyes. He told me that I would never know what this money meant to his family. And he hugged me. I sat in my car and watched him pick up his wife. He couldn't keep the news to himself and I could see that he had told her. It was amazing.

The day the egg went missing

So...this morning I treated myself to Dunkin Donuts. I ordered a medium coffee and ham + egg + cheese english muffin. I received my cup of goodness and the bag with the tasty breakfast inside. I got home and realized that the egg was missing. The bag was mysteriously light and I was kicking myself for not eating it upon arrival.

After a busy day of wedding business, I looked in my wallet and found the Dunkin receipt. I decided to give Amar a 'piece' of my mind because a 'piece' of my breakfast sandwich was missing. Fired up, I called the number on the receipt. After an awkward hello, I asked the gentleman on the other end if I had woken him up. I filled him in that protein was missing from my sandwich and his response was, "Is there a reason you waited this late to call me?" Um.....I don't know, sir, I have a life and calling to report an egg-snatching wasn't on the top of my list of things to do. Amar tells me that next time this happens to call immediately. Apparently I really put a damper on his evening because he has to go back and check security tapes to see what employee made the mistake. I didn't want him to mail an egg to my house but I was expected something....like....I don't know a free coffee. I asked what he planned on doing. He informed me that there was nothing he could do since I didn't call when it happened. I complimented him on his customer service skills and vowed to never go back to his store again. Man, did he mess with the wrong bridezilla.

Anyone reading this that loves Dunkin Donuts as much as I do.....this specific store was on Wade Green. You know what to do.

Thoughts are contagious, are yours worth catching?

Can I just address the fact that some idiots are living under this delusion they call reality?

I want to shake these people in a "baby shaken syndrome way." No one likes you. You are living in a false sense of a life. And what a horrible life that has to be. Every morning you wake up and you are in fact the equivalent to that piece of trash stuck to the bottom of your shoe. And that person looking back at you in the mirror knows it...why don't you? You are the best excuse you have ever made up for yourself as a human. You have to be disgusted with yourself. That's why in my opinion you create a delusion so you, and everyone around you, can feel the suffering inside of yourself.

After realizing all of this....I don't hate you. I pity you. I feel so bad for you. You are someone who worries about how you appear. You care SO much about your image. What is so sad to me is that you care so much about what everyone thinks, you have never thought for a second how you appear to the ones most important to you. And the saddest part of all....they want to be just like you.

"Say I'm a slut."

Recently watched one of my all time favorite movies, "The Notebook." I remember when I met Jeremie I told him how much I loved this movie. He informed me that it's a horrible story. A story about about the typical woman who acts on feelings instead of reason. Women are irrational and act on what feels good....what is easy. I strongly disagreed and screamed, "But it's a wonderful story! You don't know what love is!!!"

After watching it for the 78th time, I think Jeremie's reasoning finally set in. Ali, the slut....I mean the girl in the story, tells her fiance "she's gotta figure things out" - translation: she has to go sleep her old fling, he's trash, it didn't work then, so it probably won't work now. She assures him he has nothing to worry about. She is just going on a little trip 'to think.' For some reason watching it this time, I'm disgusted with the whole thing. Sure she ends up with Noah and they die holding each other in a nursing home. I think Noah was an idiot for taking her back. You know who I feel bad for? The poor fiance who never saw it coming. In my opinion, that ho-bag is more a piece of trash than her mom said Noah was. Yeah, I said it.

Mind your business.

Recently, while shopping at my neighborhood Publix I ran into a childhood friend. I stopped her while she was shopping for tampons and I actually had to tell her who I was. Read: awkward. At that point, I wished I had kept on walking. We chit chatted about nothing. "How's your mom and them?" The conversation was less than intriguing. I didn't rush home and find her on Facebook and friend her. Basically, my encounter was enough and it was an awakening. This is when I started to think about all the people I have "as a friend" on Facebook. These people I went to high school with I could really care less about. I got to thinking (picture me on a laptop a la Carrie Bradshaw) I'm really just a nosy little lady.

Some of the friends I have on Facebook: I care about seeing these people to see if they are fatter than me. I like to check out their pics and read about their current place of employment. And. Then. I. Am. Done. I feel like crap about this but I'm not apologizing for the reality that I believe a lot of people don't realize.

Back to the nosiness of this little girl typing. I ruined my engagement surprise because I overheard (eavesdropped) on Jeremie's conversation. It's inexcusable behavior. Someone gets off the phone and I ask "who, what, where?" I wonder where this came from. Have I always been so nosy? The answer is yes.

kroger vs publix

Lately I've realized how much I cherish my local Publix. Pulling into the parking lot Easter evening, I was upset realizing that Publix was closed. Bugger. I had to drive my happy ass to Kroger. Or Krogers as it's sometimes called. I decided to compare the two.

Publix: You don't get "hollered at."
Kroger: You will get "hollered at." Recently, at Kroger I heard shouting, right when I walked through the door some man spending too much time examining apples asked, "Excuse me...can I holler at you?" This gentleman had to repeat his question over and over...because I was NOT comprehending. Suddenly he talked to me like I was hearing impaired, "Can - I - holler - at - you?" My response: "Ugh, gross, no you cannot holler at me." Although he just did. This behavior is unacceptable.

Publix: A man that works in the Publix produce section, whose name escapes me at the moment, smiles and says, "Hello! How are you today?" He's so welcoming and happy to be alive.
Kroger: There is no one to be found in the produce section.

Publix: The cashiers (and there are usually 5) are not busy. They are waiting on you. They are standing in the aisles waving you in to check out. How convenient.
Kroger: After weaving in out of 10 customers deep waiting to self check themselves out you will find yourself with a non engaging cashier who is 3 minutes away from her smoke break. There is no eye contact. Any eye contact made is uncomfortable and is considered an intrusion.


Publix: The store is bright and clean.
Kroger: Every Kroger I have been to in the past year has been "in a renovation stage." You have to dodge orange cones which may or not be related to the renovation. I have witnessed cones surrounded by....we will call them spills. Clean up is not first on the priority list of a Kroger employee.

Publix: The Publix guarantee. One time when we were having dinner at the future mother-in-law's house, the fiance went to Publix and came back with 4 pounds of shrimp. After looking at the receipt we discovered that shrimp "as an item purchased" was not on the receipt. Puzzled and confused...Jeremie's mother and I were sure that he stole it. Jeremie explained that the shrimp rang up incorrectly so Publix gave him the entire 4 pounds of shrimp for free!
Kroger: Have you ever heard of the Kroger guarantee?

Publix: No membership. The savings are noticeable. I'm referring to the buy one get one free. You fools know what I'm talking about.
Kroger: If you want to save money you have to sign up for a membership. Don't forget that Kroger plus card!! Cause if you do you will be paying double...that means that box of Cheezits will cost ya $3.50.

Publix: I can say that I've never had bad meat from Publix. Not to say that's it's never happened to anyone else.
Kroger: You will get bad ground turkey. One of the most wretched smells I have ever smelled is when Jer and I cooked ground turkey. If you have never smelled bad turkey...let's just say you will know it when you smell it.

Publix -----feel free to send me gift certificates. Thank you.

You know you are old when....

So recently I had a moment when I realized I am getting old. No...it wasn't when I was called ma'am at Publix. It was more subtle.

I saw my dad tonight and I thought....I bet he was cool at one time. Not that I don't think he is the coolest dad ever! I mean my parents have always been there for me in a super cool way. And I have heard my dad's West Georgia stories of how his best friend was growing pot in a windowsill. But he "never" smoked pot. Uh...right. I know he was cool.

Tonight I saw him in a different light. They (whoever they are) say that when you have kids, things are put into perspective. I don't have kids....I mean Jeremie has Sophie and I guess that's enough. I care about her so much, I'm starting to see how everything I say and do is molding this little girl (hopefully) into the perfect person.

Tonight as I watched my dad, I thought he has provided for his family and he has done a great job. I'm proud of my dad, does that EVER happen? The answer, my friends, is not enough. I'm always still amazed at the way he cares about me and asks me "How are you doing on your medication?" "Fine Pa..." I respond. It's nice to have someone remember that I have a chronic disease and ask in a noninvasive way, 'Are you okay?'

Listen, dry your eyes and focus:
Back to my topic....'You know you are old when...'
1. If you are at a red light and you don't take off and hit the gas when the light turns green. What's the point? And...what's your hurry????
2. If the kid you babysat is now married and pregnant with her 3rd child.
3. If your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
4. If you tell your loud college neighbors to keep it down. No drums past 10:00 p.m. please.
5. If you have ever used the phrase "Back in my day...."
6. If you hear "Cat's in the cradle" or "Time in a Bottle" and you tear up.
7. If you consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
8. If your favorite pastime is playing scrabble. On Facebook.
9. If you are sore when you wake up.
10. If you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
11. If you think your parents were cool at one time (past tense) and you have glimpses of them being cool "at times."
12. If you talk about "good grass" and you are referring to the neighbor's lawn.
13. If you answer a question with "Because I said so."
14. If people call you at 10:00p.m. and ask "I didn't wake you, did I?" see #4.
15. If you clip coupons.

So if you are old and you know it, clap your hands. Unless that hurts...then don't.