Victoria's (disgusting) Secret

I'm so happy the Olympics are over and the folks at the Today Show are tackling the tough issues once again. Today, they shared an alarming report. They discovered that panties are being returned by customers and put back on the shelves. Um, gross. As the rest of the world is shocked by this revelation...I threw up in my mouth years ago when I had my own panty investigation.

The next part of the story was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. About 4 years ago, I purchased panties from Victoria's Secret. When I got home I noticed the underwear had been visibly worn. Disgusted, I threw them across the room...put on gloves, threw them in the bag and decided to return them. At Victoria's Secret, I began the exchange. I honestly can't remember if I returned them or had enough trust in VS at the time to exchange them for another pair. Anyways...I gave the sales associate the bag, she pulls out the panties and before I can warn her I blurt out, "They've been worn!" I didn't think my statement through. Before I knew it, everyone around me that heard my confession gasped in disgust. I tried to make it right...."No no no....not by me!!! When I bought them they had been worn!" No one was buying my story. My sister, standing beside me, began laughing uncontrollably and shared the same look of repulsion displayed by the other customers. It was horrible!

Word to my readers: always wash your wears before you wear them!

Family mishaps

In local news- I recently attended my nephew Hank's birthday party where the men had to prove they were men and showed off their new toys. Guns. They went behind the house and shot them. As I watched, I thought to myself how easily an accident could occur and that relative no one likes might be killed or worse. Not exactly. My uncle came in holding a blood soaked napkin. Ironically, he was admiring a knife, dropped it and tried to catch it.

In world news, a 21 year old Indian man died immediately following his wedding reception when his uncle fired a celebratory shot and wounded the new groom in the head.

Ed Hardy and a Jesus Party

We visited a church today. We have been visiting churches for the past 3 months. I had no idea how difficult it is to find a church. Most likely the problem originates with how picky I am. I have never experienced what happened today. The name of the church will not be used to protect the innocent.

Arriving to this church, we immediately realize we were all extremely overdressed. And I was sure my heart flutter had returned. I made a mental note to make a cardiologist appointment. No, don't be silly Stacy, that is just the praise band inside. With an open mind I tried to focus on the good points of this church. I found that very difficult. First of all, the pastor is wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt. He reminds me of Dane Cook, only less funny.

When I could actually hear him over the chitter chatter behind me, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He actually used an example of being called to the principal's office. When he spoke of one's spiritual life at the work place he kept referring to a career in bagging groceries. Panicked, I began to look around. I was sure we had been misled into the wrong room, children's church. I was half right. Everyone around me was younger than me by 15 years. And they were ALL talking and texting. I don't how I composed myself, but I didn't say anything to these disrespectful twits. I was planning a complaint in my head to the meet 'n greet lady we met when we came in. To my surprise, the pastor mentioned how they (the staff) receive numerous complaint emails on a daily basis. It's like he's reading my mind. He referred to the authors of these emails as "Jesus party haters." Mmmmmm.

The message was not that bad at all, but it was totally directed for a 12 year old. Words and phrases heard during the sermon by the lead pastor: "crackhead," "dad-gum," and "I swear to God."

I realize how bad it is to talk badly about a church, I hope no one was offended. This church is doing good things. I just left feeling really annoyed and confused. Next...

Trash or Not Trash?

So this is a little game I'm going to have to start playing with Jeremie.

Recently I was cleaning the house and I had the bathroom trash basket next to the trash can in the kitchen. The trash in the kitchen was full so I was planning on dumping the one into the other when I took it out. Well, Jeremie (trying to help) took all the trash out. And he threw away the bathroom trash basket!!!!! What the hell? He thought it was trash.

Well yesterday things took a serious turn. Everyone knows how delicious Dunkin Donuts coffee is. It's heaven in a styrofoam cup. It's a treat for me. I use to have it everyday because I worked right next to one. Now, I hardly ever get it. But, every time I do I vow to start getting it more often. Similar to a boyfriend promising to spend more quality time with his girlfriend. Yesterday I was enjoying a cup of DD coffee. I left it on the counter BY the trash can in the kitchen. When I go to look for it, I can't find it anywhere. That's right folks, the worst happened. Jeremie tossed it.
Jeremie: "I thought it was trash, there wasn't much left."
Unbelievable. I felt like beating him with my shoe.

I have a few questions...

1. I'm wondering how the teeney boppers had the idea to go and see Dear John and ruin my Friday night with the gals? It's all coming back to me now, during the previews before Twilight, the preview for Dear John was a big hit. I guess they planned their outing that night and ruined it for the rest of us. And by ruined the night, I mean you forced my friend Blair to drink bad tequila and popcorn dripping with oil....she threw up and had to call it an early night.

2. Why do I feel the need to fit in with the group and play beer pong? I can't drink beer. At all. But I always get suckered into playing this fun for all game because sometimes I am awesome at it. Saturday night, not so much. Jeremie was carrying for me the entire game. I'm still in recovery mode today after Saturday nights festivities.

3. Why do I want Sophie to think of me as a mom but cringe when she insists on calling me Mommy. This weekend she watched a movie with Jeremie, where the father died, she then says to Jeremie, "Daddy, when you die I want to live with Miss Stacy". He said, "You mean when you stay here, you want Miss Stacy to watch you?" she responds, "No Daddy, I want Miss Stacy to watch me all the time, I want her to be the Mommy." Sweet? Yes. Disturbing? Absolutely.

4. Why does Publix insist on having buy one get one free products the week after I just bought those products? Arrrrggg.

5. Why does Facebook feel the need to change EVERYTHING? Maybe I am just a ratard who is in the small focus group who didn't get it. I hate all of it. Tom would never do this to us.

6. Why is there a petition for Betty White to host Saturday Night Live? This is a no brainer, she will be awesome and SNL's ratings will go through the roof. In case the decision maker doesn't pick Rose to host, thank you Betty White for being a friend.

7. Why does Hollywood insist on making a movie to make a point? Recently just watched "The Invention of Lying" and I was disgusted at how it turned into an infomercial for the modern atheist movement. Revolting.

8. Who else has a boyfriend that is addicted to video games? Sigh...I have lost him to the dungeons, the alchemists, the rogue archers, and the sorcerers. I would like to have him back, but at the same time I am so thankful he doesn't watch sports. I can't handle ESPN on 24/7.

9. Who told the ad agencies that produced the superbowl ads that we, the Americans, needed to see more men without pants, ugh. Filthy. And unnecessary.

10. Am I supposed to be terrified that my Google search is now monitored by the President's men? No, it doesn't scare me, but you know what does? President Obama telling the American people to stop watching CNN and to stop watching Fox News. He is instructing us to go and talk to the "common man" to find out what's going on in the world. Dude, you are losing it and you are losing it big time. Change you can believe in. What's next? "Don't listen to the radio and you know what don't even read those newspapers, just listen to the sound of my voice." That, my friends scares the hell out of me.

Here's a mirror, stop projecting!

As Oprah would say, I just had an "aha moment." People project. For those of you who have heard of this word and thought you knew what it means...here is a definition. It's a psychological defense mechanism where one projects their undesirable feelings or motives onto another. I just recently discussed this idea with a friend. I never really noticed that projecting is so overwhelmingly common. I literally thought of every person in my life and could relate some instance where this has occurred. I'm not saying that I haven't participated in it either. Mind-boggling right? But it's effective for the projector.
People disappoint me constantly, so you know they disappoint themselves. Projecting provides an outlet for one individual to force their negative feelings onto someone else. Gossip is a prime example. Another example: say someone doesn't like another person, for whatever reason. Their value system tells them they have to like them. They are a bad person if they dislike someone else. So to make them feel better, they convince themselves that the other person doesn't like them. Finally, the result of this feeling of dislike is validated.
It really just originates to insecurity. But doesn't it always?
It's really disgusting and dangerous. It results from inner anxiety and it's a way for people to feel normal, unfortunately making others feel worse. All to often, I hear stories of someone that is dating someone so miserable that it's only a matter of time until they start to believe they are the horrible individual making the other so unhappy.
I would like to take a line from a Michael Jackson hit, "Man in the Mirror" : If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. I hear that and automatically bust a move and I also think that the next time a person negatively criticizes me, I'm going to stick a mirror in their face and say good luck!
Anyways, I know this isn't a funny blog, just thought I would share. It's so interesting to me, I should've studied Psychology for sure.

You've got a cheater in your inbox.

I would like to address the underlying atrotious theme of this movie. "You've got mail"....you've got a story about a friendship originating in a chatroom that turns into an emotional connection. It's cheating folks. Plain and simple. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are both in relationships, living with their significant others. They are keeping their online relationship a secret. Some think this is perfectly innocent. Question: then why are they so secretive? Another question, most important of all, why the hell are they staying with the poor souls they obviously don't love. Answer: people are insecure and settle for someone just to have a warm body. It's infuriating to me. What happened to the fairytale lovestory? When does the relationship with your "partner" turn into this haze of resentment and when does it begin to feel like a mistake? I wonder. I wonder why people feel the need to go somewhere else to fill the void. Why can't they take the time to work on their current relationship, ask for advice from them, or hey guys here's a thought, how bout strengthening your relationship with God? Arg. I'm so disgusted with society. And thank you to this movie for reinforcing the innocence of emotional infidelity.